I have already made two unsuccessful attempts today to write some meaningful bullshit post with a beautiful lesson at the end but I couldn’t finish them and I didn’t care enough about them to try very hard. I want to write something insightful and relatable but I’m still blanking. I’ve literally had writer’s block for three months but I’m forcing myself to come out of hibernation. With that in mind I want to apologize in advance for what a shit storm this post is going to be.
1.) Uncertainty is such a pain in the ass. I hate not knowing what’s going to happen next. I hate being unsure of what I want to do with my life, where I want to go, who I want to surround myself with, who I even am, what the fuck is going on, etc. Does anyone truly even have a definite idea of what they’re doing/want to do or is everyone just walking around pretending like they have the answers? I’ll be the first to admit it; I HAVE NO CLUE ABOUT ANYTHING. I CAN’T EVEN CHOOSE BETWEEN FLAVORS OF VODKA HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE A REAL ADULT DECISION? On the topic of making decisions, I’m flying out to my potential new home in two weeks to look at apartments and jobs. This is an instance where uncertainty is not just a pain in the ass but also really exciting. Perhaps not knowing what’s going to happen next isn’t all bad. I need to work on accepting that (easier said than done as I’m about as uptight as they come).
2.) I need to learn how to manage money. How the fuck am I supposed to save money when my impulse control is non existent. Side note- why the fuck was I never taught this in school?
3.) I want to cut my hair short but I’m not sure if I can fully commit to that. I always think short hair will look cute only to end up looking like a prepubescent boy for the next year.