“I fucking hate how his name has been taking up space in these notebooks the past 4 fucking years. Why have I not learned he doesn’t love me we don’t love each other we just love to hurt each other and call it love but that’s not what love is and I don’t know if I’ll ever learn that because if it wasn’t love with him I don’t know what it was because it made me feel so fucking much and I felt like I found a place I belonged whenever we were together and I can’t wait another 16 years to find that again but I don’t even know what I’m really looking for if I’m not looking for him.” 


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